Divorce is a difficult process emotionally, financially and legally. When children are involved, the stakes are even higher. How you handle the separation can shape your child’s wellbeing, emotional development and long-term outlook.
In Australia, the legal system prioritises the best interests of the child. That means ensuring children remain safe, supported and connected to both parents, where appropriate. But beyond the legal aspect, handling divorce with children requires patience, clear communication and a child-focused mindset.
Here’s a comprehensive guide on how to handle divorce with children in Australia, including legal steps, parenting arrangements and emotional strategies for protecting your family’s future.
Quick Overview: Handling Divorce When Children Are Involved
When divorcing with children, focus on:
- Reaching a parenting arrangement that prioritises the child’s best interests
- Minimising conflict and ensuring emotional stability
- Navigating the legal process (including parenting orders and child support)
- Communicating effectively and respectfully with the other parent
Support from family lawyers, mediators and child experts can help ensure a smoother transition.
Prioritise the Child’s Best Interests
The Family Law Act 1975 sets out that a child’s best interests are the central consideration in all family law matters. This includes:
- Maintaining a meaningful relationship with both parents (where safe)
- Protecting the child from physical or emotional harm
- Ensuring the child has stability in living arrangements, schooling and routine
When making decisions, whether through agreement or in court, these principles should guide every step.
Reach Parenting Arrangements Early
It’s important to establish who the child will live with, how much time they’ll spend with each parent and how major decisions will be made.
Options include:
- Informal arrangements between parents
- A written Parenting Plan (not legally binding but shows good faith)
- Consent Orders approved by the court (legally enforceable)
- Parenting Orders issued by the court if no agreement is reached
Parenting arrangements typically cover:
- Day-to-day care and living arrangements
- Schooling and education decisions
- Healthcare responsibilities
- Holidays, birthdays and special events
- Communication between the child and each parent
Be Honest, Reassuring and Age-Appropriate
Divorce is confusing for children. How you communicate the change can significantly influence their emotional wellbeing.
Tips for effective communication:
- Reassure them that the separation is not their fault
- Explain changes calmly and clearly
- Use age-appropriate language
- Avoid blaming the other parent
- Encourage them to express their feelings
Children benefit most when both parents reinforce the message that they are still loved and supported.
Use Mediation and Family Dispute Resolution
Under Australian law, separated parents must attempt Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) before applying for parenting orders, unless there’s a risk of abuse or urgency.
FDR helps parents:
- Discuss and agree on parenting arrangements
- Avoid costly and stressful court proceedings
- Focus on the child’s needs instead of past grievances
Successful outcomes can be turned into a Parenting Plan or formalised as Consent Orders.
Take Care of Yourself and Model Emotional Stability
Children take emotional cues from their parents. If you’re visibly distressed, angry or withdrawn, they’re more likely to struggle.
Supportive strategies include:
- Seeking counselling or support groups
- Practising self-care and maintaining a routine
- Limiting exposure to conflict around the child
- Speaking positively about the other parent (when appropriate)
Modelling respectful communication and resilience helps your child feel secure.
Understand the Role of Child Support
Financial support ensures children’s needs continue to be met after separation. Services Australia (Child Support Division) manages most applications.
Child support is calculated based on:
- Each parent’s income
- The amount of care provided
- The number of children involved
Payments can be arranged privately or collected through the agency. For more complex cases, a Binding Child Support Agreement can be made with legal advice.
What If There’s High Conflict or Family Violence?
In cases involving family violence, additional legal protections and support services are available. You can:
- Apply for Apprehended Domestic Violence Orders (ADVOs)
- Request supervised visitation or no contact arrangements
- Use secure court pathways and confidential contact details
Your safety and your child’s wellbeing always come first. Legal guidance ensures that protective measures are put in place.
FAQs – Divorce with Children in Australia
Do we have to go to court to make parenting arrangements?
No. Most parents resolve parenting matters through mutual agreement or mediation.
Can I stop the other parent from seeing the child?
Only if there is a serious risk of harm. Courts generally support ongoing relationships with both parents.
How does the court decide where the child lives?
It’s based on the child’s best interests, considering safety, stability and emotional connections.
Can children choose which parent to live with?
Children’s views may be considered, depending on their age and maturity, but they are not the sole deciding factor.
Do I need a lawyer for a parenting agreement?
Legal advice ensures your rights are protected and agreements are properly drafted, especially for Consent Orders.
Navigate Divorce with Confidence – Contact Johnsons Law Group
Divorcing with children involved is never easy, but the right legal support can help you protect your child’s future and your parental rights. At Johnsons Law Group, our compassionate family lawyers guide you through every step of the process, from parenting agreements to child support and beyond.
Call us on 02 9600 7277 or visit our Contact Us page to schedule a confidential consultation. We’re here to support your family with clarity, care and legal strength.
